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davidcornelius: An Arch Hall two-fer.

mattbirnbaum — Mon, 28 May 2012 10:15:43 -0400

An Arch Hall two-fer.

explodinghelicopter: “Welcome to the other side of...

mattbirnbaum — Sun, 27 May 2012 18:54:44 -0400

“Welcome to the other side of safe.”

MAXIMUM RISK (1996) sees Jean Claude Van Damme playing brothers (again) as he tries to get to the bottom of a plot involving corrupt cops and the Russian mob.

The most interesting aspect, of an otherwise routine film, is the scene where JCVD has sex with his dead brother’s girlfriend. There’s a moral and emotional complexity to this idea which is sadly, and unsurprisingly, completely ignored in favour of some routine titillation.

explosivevhs: Command 5 / 1985 / E.W. Swackhamer Explosive TV...

mattbirnbaum — Sun, 20 May 2012 06:59:58 -0400

explosivevhs:

Command 5 / 1985 / E.W. Swackhamer

Explosive TV movie in the A-team vein, starring Stephen Parr, Wings Hauser and John Matuszak! Japanese VHS in English with Japanese subtitles. Full-frame picture (being a TV movie that is probably correct).

explodinghelicopter: New review: CIA II: TARGET ALEXA (1993)...

mattbirnbaum — Fri, 18 May 2012 17:02:41 -0400

explodinghelicopter:

New review: CIA II: TARGET ALEXA (1993) Lorenzo Lamas stars and directs in this action film which separates the occasional bad movie people from the hardcore sadists. Find out which side of the line we fall in our review.

explodinghelicopter: You’d think it’d be hard to make a bad...

mattbirnbaum — Sat, 12 May 2012 09:42:56 -0400

explodinghelicopter:

You’d think it’d be hard to make a bad film about a vampire Nazi trying to make Hitler immortal, but somehow Uwe Boll manages it with BLOODRAYNE 3: THE THIRD REICH (2010).

The most irritating aspect is that it could actually have been a decent, dare I say it, good film. However, the script is absolutely dreadful. Even when making allowances for the DTV realm this film is operating in, it’s terrible.

Clint Howard and Michael Pare may never win Oscars, but they’re decent enough actors. Unfortunately, there’s just nothing they can do with the mouthfuls of drivel they’re required to say.

explosivevhs: Born a Ninja / 1989 / Godfrey Ho Ho stitches...

mattbirnbaum — Mon, 07 May 2012 17:16:40 -0400

explosivevhs:

Born a Ninja / 1989 / Godfrey Ho

Ho stitches another quilt together from 90% bad HK action and 10% Richard Harrison Ninja goodness!

explodinghelicopter: New review: THE PEACEMAKER (1997) our...

mattbirnbaum — Fri, 04 May 2012 05:16:11 -0400

explodinghelicopter:

New review: THE PEACEMAKER (1997) our reviewer has an awkward moment of self-realisation whilst watching this rather beige thriller: “It’s nice to know that, like the bottom drawer of my bedside cabinet, Clooney and Kidman also have things they are probably ashamed of.”

explodinghelicopter: New review: We take a look at the...

mattbirnbaum — Tue, 01 May 2012 04:58:01 -0400

explodinghelicopter:

New review: We take a look at the ‘mockbuster’ 2012: Ice Age, parts of which may seem familiar to Roland Emmerich….

explodinghelicopter: 22 BULLETS (2010) stars Jean Reno as a...

mattbirnbaum — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:44:07 -0400

explodinghelicopter:

22 BULLETS (2010) stars Jean Reno as a retired gangster, who thinks he’s left his criminal past behind. But after he’s gunned down and left for dead, he hunts down those responsible in predictably brutal fashion.

All told, this is a disappointing film. The film does nothing to make you care as for the fate of any of the characters. Apparently based on a novel, it would be interesting to know more about the source material.

There are some hints within the film of plot strands which may add depth to the characterisation and story. However, they look like nothing more than nods in the direction of the source material, no doubt sacrificed in order to turn in a straight forward 2-hour revenge thriller.

I find it easier to forgive a film which tries and fails, than one which plays it safe and still fails. A dispiriting, pointless film.

totalfilm: Bruce Willis looks badass in The Expendables 2...

mattbirnbaum — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 05:20:05 -0400

totalfilm:

Bruce Willis looks badass in The Expendables 2 character poster

Plus, 11 more posters revealed, featuring Sly, Arnie, Van Damme, Hemsworth, Norris and more…

Richard Lynch in Miner’s Massacre.

mattbirnbaum — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 20:56:13 -0400

Richard Lynch in Miner’s Massacre.

Photo

mattbirnbaum — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 17:57:50 -0400

Lorenzo Lamas in Return of the Outlaws.

mattbirnbaum — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 18:14:57 -0400

Lorenzo Lamas in Return of the Outlaws.

Erik Estrada in Caged Fury.

mattbirnbaum — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 18:12:40 -0400

Erik Estrada in Caged Fury.

Corey Feldman in South Beach Academy.

mattbirnbaum — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 18:14:51 -0400

Corey Feldman in South Beach Academy.

Michael Paré in Blubberella.

mattbirnbaum — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 17:05:16 -0400

Michael Paré in Blubberella.

Clint Howard in Blubberella.

mattbirnbaum — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 17:03:41 -0400

Clint Howard in Blubberella.

explodinghelicopter: New review: DERAILED (2002) Jean Claude...

mattbirnbaum — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 17:05:01 -0400

explodinghelicopter:

New review: DERAILED (2002) Jean Claude Van Damme takes a train ride to a career low, in this truly awful ‘euro-thriller’.

explodinghelicopter: New review: Milla Jovovich gets royally...

mattbirnbaum — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 08:53:46 -0400

explodinghelicopter:

New review: Milla Jovovich gets royally ass-kicked by Sienna Guillory in RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE (2004) as we witness the first known destruction of a helicopter by a genetically modified mutant zombie….

explosivevhs: Jungle Assault and Hell on the Battleground Two...

mattbirnbaum — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:11:20 -0400

explosivevhs:

Jungle Assault and Hell on the Battleground

Two trashy David A. Prior films on AIP. Released by Victor as part of the “Super Action Series”!